


Fake

by protectoroffaeries



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/M, Family, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kid Fic, M/M, Pip says the damnedest things, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-28 01:57:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10064486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/protectoroffaeries/pseuds/protectoroffaeries
Summary: Eliza really should've seen this conversation coming.





	

**Author's Note:**

> john is philip's bio dad
> 
> pip = philip 
> 
> ...comments? please?

An issue with children - and Eliza has witnessed this for many years amongst the first and second graders she typically teaches - is that they say (accurate and inaccurate, but mostly somewhere in the middle) things to one another without filter. It isn't their fault; they're just kids, they usually don't know better, but it tends to create complicated situations that end with confused children, annoyed parents, and exhausted teachers. The worst of these instances is when eight year olds start running their mouths off about sex because they heard their older sibling make a dirty joke once and now think they're an authority on the subject.

But Eliza has to admit that she didn't think it would be much of a problem with her  _ own  _ children. She makes it very clear that while she'll answer any question they have, they're not to discuss certain topics at school. She should've considered, what with their family structure being nontraditional and all, that her children would not be the spreaders of misinformation, but the victims of it.

And yet, the thought doesn't enter her mind until Pip comes home one day, halfway through first grade, and asks his fathers, “Which one of you is the fake?”

Eliza is so startled by the question that she drops the glass in her hand; thankfully, it doesn't shatter. John and Alex, who were sitting at the table and discussing an article Alex is writing, are now staring at each other, silent and wide-eyed, like neither of them know what the hell to say to that, and frankly, Eliza can't blame them, because  _ she  _ doesn't know what to say, either.

It's not like she didn't think that one day their children might be curious about which one of their fathers is  _ biologically _ theirs, and in fact, the three of them have already agreed to share that information because it  _ is  _ medically relevant. But Eliza had always assumed that when they did have that conversation, it would be whenever Pip was old enough to understand that biology doesn't invalidate Alex's role as his father.

Eliza can't believe she didn't consider that someone at the elementary school would imply otherwise.

John recovers first. Eliza thinks it's because he normally handles these tricky family questions with Fran. She wonders if Pip will bring up his sister, ask if she's “fake,” too, because Fran calls Eliza and Alex by their first names and often references her late mother. Pip has never questioned that before, but Eliza thinks this inquiry is a gateway to others like it.

“What do you mean, Pip?” John asks.

Pip frowns and looks at Eliza, but Eliza thinks it's best to take this from the top: “Answer your papa,” she says carefully. John is Papa, Alex is Dad, and she refers to them as “your father” interchangeably, but that seems like an unwise choice right now.

Pip sighs theatrically, which is, ironically, a habit that he picked up from Alex. He takes off his backpack and goes to sit next to John and Alex at the table where Eliza has already laid out an afternoon snack for him. She sets the glass she was holding on the counter and follows him, takes a seat at the table herself.

“Mary Jefferson says that it only takes one mommy and one daddy to make a baby,” Pip explains as he munches on a mini chocolate chip cookie. Normally, Eliza would tell him not to talk with his mouth full, but since they're already on a bigger topic that clearly has both John and Alex on edge, she thinks that's the more important thing to address right now. If they stray from it, they might never hear what prompted such a question - and that might make Alex think it's got more to do with inadequate parenting on his part than something a seven year old said on the playground.

“She said to ask anybody, and everyone I asked said they only have one mommy and one daddy, too,” Pip continues, “so she said that one of my daddies had to be a fake. She also says that I'm weird, and she doesn't know why  _ one  _ daddy would say I'm his son, let alone  _ two. _ She says it must be ‘cause we’re all messed up.”

Alex mutters something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like  _ “Little bitch.” _ Eliza shoots him a  _ look.  _ But he's not exactly wrong; kids can be hateful, and this sounds like a classic case.

“So you agree with her?” asks John, his tone even and calm and completely opposite Alex's pissy remark. Eliza loves John dearly, but he's far from perfect, and it still awes her sometimes to see how well he handles children. She worried when they were younger that he might be too temperamental or too distant to be there for them - an echo of his own fears regarding Fran, she supposes - but it seems that neither of them gave him enough credit.

Pip hesitates. “I don't think we're messed up,” he says finally, “but she  _ was  _ right about the mommy and daddy stuff. Theo backed her up. And…” Pip looks a little guilty, but he still says, “Theo says she thinks that Papa is my real daddy.”

Now Alex growls:  _ “Burr.” _ His hands clench into tight fists on the tabletop, and Eliza worms her way between his curled fingers to take his hand. He still looks infuriated, but he doesn't say anything else.

Pip gives them a curious look, as if he's trying to figure out if their actions confirm or deny Theodosia Burr’s theory.

John, for his part, doesn't openly react to Pip's comment. Eliza has a feeling he does something, though - maybe he lays a hand on Alex's leg - because Alex relaxes a little. “Why does she think that?”

“She says it's ‘cause I got your hair,” Pip tugs on a curl hanging by his cheek for emphasis,“and your freckles. People always say ‘You look like your mommy, you look like your daddy.’”

Eliza doesn't know what to say to that. Pip is the spitting image of John, really; she's seen some of the early elementary school pictures of him that Martha Laurens smuggled out of their parents’ house, and the resemblance is uncanny. Same hair color and texture, same overall skin tone, same eye color, same freckles; hell, she thinks they were even missing the same two teeth in their kindergarten pictures.

“Pip,” John says after a moment of consideration. By now, Pip has finished his snack and has nothing to occupy his attention, so he fidgets while he waits for John to speak. “What's your name?”

Pip looks confused. Eliza is a little puzzled herself. “You just said. It's Pip.”

John shakes his head. “No, your real, full name. What do you put on your school papers?”

“Philip Hamilton,” Pip says automatically, and then he pauses. His brows furrow like he's on the verge of an epiphany. Eliza exchanges a glance with Alex; they both think they know where John's going with this, and admittedly, it's a clever way to pull the topic off the table until Pip is older.

“But… you're… John  _ Laurens, _ right, Papa?” Pip says. John's name is awkward and coming out of his mouth; Eliza can't say she recalls him ever acknowledging their given names before. It's a little surprising that he remembers them.

“Yes,” John confirms.

Pip looks at Alex.  _ “You're  _ Alex Hamilton.  _ Hamilton. _ Like me,” he says, mostly to himself.

“That's right,” Alex says anyway.

“Sounds to me like you've got something from both of us,” says John causally. He sits back in his chair, posture relaxing, and Eliza can tell he considers the crises currently averted.

Pip beams. “So Mary Jefferson is wrong?”

“Yes,” says John, just as Alex mumbles, “Jeffersons usually are.”

It's interesting, Eliza thinks, because her mind automatically jumped to biology, because (rude) people ask her sometimes whether John or Alex is Jaime's  _ real  _ dad or Will's  _ real  _ dad. But it occurs to her now that Pip doesn't really have an idea of what he means when he asks which one of them is “real” and which is “fake” because he doesn't put the same weight onto biology that a lot of their society does - probably because he's seven and doesn't  _ understand _ biology.

The important thing is that  _ John _ clearly came to that conclusion before he started talking; otherwise he would've answered the question Eliza assumed Pip was asking, not the one he actually asked. Eliza doesn't doubt that if Pip asked, point blank, which of them was his  _ biological  _ father, John - and Alex - wouldn't lie. (Although, they would probably have an extensive discussion about the meaning of biological, and Eliza thanks her stars that Mary Jefferson didn't use that word.)

“She’s just jealous ‘cause she only has one daddy,” concludes Pip.

That draws smiles out of John and Alex both. “Probably,” says John, just as Alex says, “Definitely.”

Pip turns in his chair to face Eliza, and then asks, “So is Franny’s mama my other mommy?”

_ Oh, boy.  _ She looks at John, who shrugs, and Alex, who's inching his way out of his seat.

There's no way this conversation won't lead to one about why Fran calls her and Alex by their first names.


End file.
